Friday, April 29, 2005

45 minutes to cyberterrorism

I visited InfoSec this week, a forum for information security in Europe. Not content with driving fear of weapons of mass destruction into the populace, Lord Toby Harris was there to open a new front telling us that we were all going to be attacked by cyberterrorists next.
This has been contradicted by most people in the know, including Bruce Schneier, who stated: "We should save 'terror' for the things that deserve it, not things that piss us off." Most eloquently put.
You can find out more about cyberterrorism here.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Mouse music

One of Æsop's fables (I seem to recall) tells of a mouse-about-town who pays a visit to his cousin, a mouse in the country. The latter's pastoral idyll does not suit our urban rodent, however, who finds the tempo of country dwelling too restrained. He in turn invites his host to experience the vivid vicissitudes of urban living, much to the bumpkin's joy. That is until the pair encounter a predatory pussy, which encourages the newcomer to return to his rural retreat.
Now the moral to this tale has taken on some postmodern hermeneutics, as urban and country have come to mean quite different things. Country is rednecks recounting tales of heartbreak, though I guess urban is still where all the cats are.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Sexual Discrimination

You can abuse people in English by referring to them as a sexual organ, though only in the vernacular: calling someone a vagina or a penis will have little impact. The choice between characterizing them as either male or female genetalia does carry significance, however.
Should you choose male abuse, this will reflect on the target's perceived lack of intelligence: a cock or a prick is a stupid person. When choosing a female equivalent, you confirm the target's calculated malevolence: a cunt.
Note that this figurative language seems to apply to these organs specifically. Being a dick is quite different to having balls, while other female organs do not have the same connotations: e.g. a tit (though this may because it is in the singular, as in a camel short of a caravan).
If you doubted that sexual politics and language were interrelated, the above should encourage you to reconsider, you twat.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Fw: everyone's gonna get stoned

A recent report has shown that information overload from emails affects the brain more than smoking pot. So are junk mailers just spreading the weed? Interestingly, people are foregoing meals to answer emails, rather than dashing off for munchies.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Daily Mail feature

Hate to sound like the Daily Mail but you know when the housing market's in trouble when the estate agent's being reposessed...

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Election fever!

The new election is well underway with all sides campaigning ahead of a final deciding conclave. There have been fears expressed in some quarters of voter apathy, given a stark choice between unelectable liberal candidates and conservatives who have been unable to shake off an image tarnished as uncaring and out of touch. The newly elected PM (pontifex maximus) will need to tackle 21st century issues, in particular the dilemma surrounding future participation in Europe.
Bookies suggest the eventual winner will retain conservative views masquerading as social conscience, though the secretive ballot process has itself been called into question with the extended use of postal voting.
The election result will be heralded in the traditional manner by changing a swingometer from undecided blue to red.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Confused? Why wait?

I realise that who we vote for will make very little difference unless you live in a marginal constituency, but as is the custom every General Election post Netscape, you can work out who you should vote for online.

What a beetle in the bush is worth

An entomologist at the Natural History Museum has named three new species of slime-mold beetle after Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld, as a special honour.

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Maps R U.S.

Now here's something that I admire, being well into the multi-platform delivery thing; check out the calculators on a channel I developed, which you can subscribe to on AvantGo.
Google -- who else? -- has developed an easy to use map tool for those on the move in the U.S. and Canada: http://mobile.google.com/local. It's pretty well designed for the smaller interface in the bigger Apple, going to a really granular level and based on Google maps.

Lady Diana bench

By popular demand, obligatory Taj Mahal snap:
Taj Mahal

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Happy Easter Yoko

And so this is Easter and what have you done? The CEO's been sacked, a new one's just begun.
And so this is Easter and to add to the fun, the COO's changed roles, which is the most he has done.
And so this is Easter and in the long run, the sales director's still there though he's the crappiest one.

Management's over if you want it...

Monday, April 11, 2005

In-Delhi-ble inklings

The motorized rickshaws that scuttle about Delhi's arteries like yellow parasites reflect their host's most neophile aspirations. Since the turn of the millenium, all have been converted to run on compressed natural gas in a ressucitative attempt to relive the city's lungs of stifling pollution. And now that the number of mobile phones in Delhi's neural network is approaching its tuk-tuk tally, disenchanted passengers may SMS complaints direct to the city police. Just text a three-letter code relevant to the misdemeanour (say over-charging) followed by the rickshaw number and Delhi constabulatry will dispatch an Ambassador to apprehend the crime-wallah.

Friday, April 08, 2005

Indian mysticism

For all India's purported mystical and spiritual qualities, read ignorance and poverty and see how closely these are bound. In South African townships there's poverty too: people in tiny corrugated shacks in the middle of a dust bowl who walk shoeless miles to fetch food. Yet (I'm wary of rose-coloured spectacles) there is less intellectual poverty in these townships than in what I've seen of India. Education is compulsory in South Africa and even where children have to sustain themselves because of family disease or unemployment, all are acutely aware of forsaken schooling. Contrast this with India where education is optional, even state schools are fee-paying but remain incredibly under-equipped (no desks or chairs), children working in shops, factories, train stations and streets... or is this famous Indian entrepreneurship? Moreover, in South Afrrica the population is politically mature, while in the world's largest democracy, prejudice reigns.
I wonder if the hegemony of the caste system, the unthinking acquiescence to a feudal order that condemns so many to every form of poverty, is what apartheid would have become given another century or so to fester. A sense of community as we might understand it seems to have been blighted by three thousand years of knowing your place. Not even Mahatma Gandhi -- himself a catalyst for the anti-apartheid struggle -- could foster this social conscience. Vishnu, preserver of the Hindu world, ensures that barely half the population is literate; and that's by the Indian government's measure which judges literacy as being able to read and write your own name...
So for all the saddha bathing in mother Ganges, muezzin at dusk, Buddhist pilgrims and Jain monks, India convinces me that atheistic scepticism offers the straightest path to social conscience.

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Agra-vation beggars belief

Here's a resolutely urban myth: if you give to one person begging, twenty others will congregate around you until they too are sated by pittance. If this doesn't happen in Agra where poverty runs through the gutters of the tourist trail, where does it happen? I spent the last fortnight giving, mostly soap, pencils and bananas to children and this mendiant manifestation is yet to materialize. If you flaunt your wealth in front of your peers, why not in front of the poor?