Mysteries of our time
- Why does ITV's opening sequence feature Adrian Mutu? Did Romania or Chelsea qualify for Euro 2004?
- Why is Petr Cech the only player who ITV commentators refer to by both first and second name?
- Why does a senile old codger like Barry Davies still have a job when he can't tell who any of the players are and in desperation complains about Portuguese TV replays?
- How is Joe Royle an "expert summariser" when he thinks Paul Gerrard and Jamie Redknapp are playing for England?
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